When Marauder…
by likeislove
Summary: When girls meet, they giggle. When boys meet, they share a laugh. When Marauders meet, bang is bound to happen everywhere.
1. When Sirius gets bored

When Sirius gets bored

**Disclaimer: I wish I could own all of them especially Sirius Black.**

**This fan-fic contains a lot of conversation than description.**

**_Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. _****You should definitely read this book.**

* * *

Remus was sitting on a sofa in a common room reading a book. Occasionally, he would grin, frown but nothing other than that. Never would he lift his head to glance around the room. Reading books and loving them (no matter how worst they are), is one of his traits. He gets pissed off if anyone disturbs him.

Sirius sat beside him with a smug face and draped an arm around his shoulder. Remus groaned audibly, for which he received a smack on his head from Sirius. Remus turned to glare at Sirius, but went back to reading when Sirius stuck his tongue out childishly.

"What are you reading, Moony?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course, you my best friend and whatsoever you do is of my concern"

"Did James ditch you _again_ and went off to snog Lily _again_?

"Maybe, No. I was talking with James, That is when I realised, –"

"That's the cue, when Lily entered the room and –"

"- how come I don't hang out with my best friend Moony? So I leave them alone –"

"- James kicked you out of the room-.

"- and came running to you"

"Mark my words, Padfoot. One day I'll kill that bastard after killing you."

"You luvvv me, Moony"

"Right, Never!"

"I beg to differ. You said you always enjoy when I lick you"

"As a dog"

"Admit it. What the hell man – OW, CRAP – STOP HITTING WITH THAT GARGANTUAN THING"

"Who uses "gargantuan" while speaking?"

"Someone needs to improve their vocabulary"

"Someone needs to shut up"

"I am not going to shut up, Moony"

"Fine, then I will"

"Do you want to know why I am here?"

"…"

"Will you kiss me back if I slap you, Moony?"

"…"

"Did you know there is white chocolate like white tea?"

"…"

"Moooonnnny"

"…"

"Which book are you reading, Moony? What is it about?"

"This is one of the best books ever written. _Frankenstein_ is about a scientist –"

"Merlin, help me! Go back to your 'i-shut-up-because-you-don't-shut-up' mode"

"Now I am not going to talk to you for the whole day"

"What will you do, if you were stuck with me for a whole day?"

"…"

"So what is the ending of the book?

"Yeah, in the end –"

"How do you know about the ending?"

"Because I already read this book thrice, Padfoot"

"You really need life for real now"

"That is it! I am not talking to you ever, Black"

"Fine by me. Share the book with me, I want to see too"

"There are no naked pictures of woman in here, Padfoot"

"I don't need to see pictures of naked woman. I can see woman naked any time in fact all the time with my naked eye"

"You want to read, Padfoot?"

_After 4 minutes,_

"Can I turn the page, Padfoot?"

"Nope, I didn't finish reading it"

_After 5 minutes,_

"Can I do it now?"

"Be patient, grasshopper"

_After 9 minutes,_

"Moony, did you know that there are 859 words and 1253 characters printed on this paper. Can you believe it? Isn't that amazing?"

"…"

"Say something, Moony"

"I am speechless. I don't have words to describe your idiocy"

"Ha ha! Don't be jealous, one day even you will be intelligent like me. Not exactly like me but somewhere near to me"

"I am afraid that will happen anytime soon. If I ever become a psychopath which I will because of your jabbering then please admit me in a mental hospital but never come visit me"

"No comedic timing at all, Moony"

"That wasn't supposed to be funny, Padfoot"

"Do you want to turn the page or not? I want to check how many words and characters are there on that page"

"I have lost the will to read further"

"You don't want to read? Finally apocalypse is bound to happen. I am excited"

"…"

"As you don't want to study, can we play Guess The Word game? Pretty please?"

"Fine, I'll go first. Only 15 questions"

"Alright, what is in your mind? Is it chocolate?

"I don't always think about chocolate, Padfoot"

"Should I remind you of how many times I won this game because of that one mere word?"

"Are we playing this game or not, Padfoot?"

"Is it werewolf?"

"Nope"

"Are you thinking about me?"

"Eww"

"Are you an idiot, Moony?"

"Can I slap you? I am counting that also as a question"

"Is it a book?"

"Yeah"

"Is it the name of the book?"

"Yeah, you are so close"

"I am dammed. Is it your favourite book?"

"Hmm"

"You want to marry that book?"

"What?"

"Is it in the library?"

"Does it matter, Padfoot"

"What else is left to ask?"

"Give it up, Pads! You are never going to even come close to guessing the name of that book"

"Is it 'He is one in billion-Sirius Black?"

"There is no book with such a name"

"Yeah, it will be within next few years. And you are the author of the book. I give you all the copyrights of my life"

"I would rather cut my fingers than write a book about you. You have crossed the question limit. Give it up, Pads"

"Isn't this game boring?"

"It is Frankenstein"

"You can't make words of your own. That is cheating. It is not fair"

"I am not making it up"

"Prove it, Moony"

"The book I was reading before you came to torture me. The one that you called 'gargantuan'"

"Is that book for real? I thought that was your diary. And you had named it Frankenstein"

"Can I kill myself?"

"Stop being overdramatic. Now it is my turn"

"Are you actually thinking about something?"

"Yeah"

"Really?"

"Yeah"

"Really?"

"Maybe"

"What do you mean 'maybe'?

"That is why I tell you to upgrade your vocabulary"

"You are not thinking about anything"

"How do you know?"

"Because I know"

"Which word were you thinking?"

"You are not supposed to ask. You have to guess"

"I am asking you for real. Which word were you thinking?"

"Shame on you, Moony! You can't even guess a word. The word I was thinking is – guess"

"…"

"It is your turn now"

"Padfoot, you have beaten me. I'm tired. So very tired. What do you _really_ want?"

"Nothing, I was just bored. I wanted to turn my mind on"

"By turning off other peoples mind"

* * *

**Did you ever count numbers of words on a page like Sirius did? I normally do that when I am preparing for my exams. That is not at all creepy, right? The most annoying question ever, did you like it? Tell me your thoughts about it, I would really appreciate it.  
**

**See Ya**


	2. When James talks about Lily

Sirius was lying lazily on his bed with his arms behind his head. James was gazing the nature, from the near-by window. Remus, on the other hand, was sitting in one corner silently reading his book, his beady eyes moving back and forth, trying to register each word.

"Stop gawking at Lily, Prongs"

"I'm not, Padfoot. I just happen to stare at the place where Lily is sitting. On my defence, I have been watching that place before Lily sat there"

"Are you digging out gold by leering, Prongs?"

"No comedic timing at all. When have you last your sense of humor?"

"Since the day you have met Lily"

Sirius chucked James with the pillow.

"I don't understand why you don't like Lily. She is breath-taking beautiful-"

"Ten minutes you said all those things. Do we have to listen to all of this again, Prongs? Either you change your speech or the girl. I sincerely hope, it will be better if you change the girl"

"Fine, I will change the subject. I wonder what her lips taste like when they are perfectly placed on mine"

"Moony, I can't believe Prongs is going to die as a virgin"

Remus rolled his eyes without lifting his head.

"What makes you say that? I have Lily"

"Yeah, right! Last time, I walked into this room, you were making out with Lily. Maybe Padfoot should apologise for the disturbing such lovey dopey couple? Oh wait a minute that never happened! I don't need to apologise"

"Ok, who are you talking to, when you talk like that?"

"Common Prongs, you have to get over her. There are so many pretty girls out there. Go find one. You deserve the second best. Because the best is saved for me"

"Lily is the best. She is mine. What do you mean, get over her? When was she under me?"

"That's a fair point"

"Oh wait! I am picturing her on my bed. I am never ever going to let her go from my bed"

Sirius sighed.

"When did she get in your bed anyway? Anything can happen in dreams. Pleasure of life"

"You are always there to spoil my mood. Why do you do that?"

"Can't you see through me? I am jealous. I can't wait to check what your lips taste when they are placed perfectly on mine."

Remus fell out of his chair and hit his head hard with the book he was reading.

"Do you want say something, Padfoot? It seems we are clearly missing something here"

Sirius suppressed his smirk and looked at annoyed but surprising James. James looked out of the window and then at Sirius.

"Can I kiss you, Prongs?"

"Over my dead body. That was the crap I ever heard."

"Really? How about this? I have never felt this way about anyone since I have met you. Is that enough? Can I kiss you now?"

"You got to be frigging kidding me? It is still crap"

"Forget it. I will kiss Moony, if you don't want to kiss me. Mooony, should I repeat the same sentences again or can I kiss you directly?

Sirius turned to Remus making puppy eyes and pouting little bit. If he was in his Animagus form, he would have been wagging his tail.

"I would be using James' dead body as a shield"

"As Prongs happens to be alive, can I kiss you?"

Peter opened the door widely with his eyes popped out. He was carrying a bag full of food in his both hands. He dropped them on the ground with frustration.

"Is this really happening under this roof? How come I am the last one to know about all this stuff?"

"Padfoot, as Wormtail feels he is the left out one. Why don't you kiss him first?"

"Do you think of me as a kissing machine?"

"Define machine"

"Machine is something, which clearly does something and I don't happen to know that something. I am sure; you will figure it out that something"

"I don't understand one thing- few minutes back we were talking about my Lily and now Sirius is arguing about kissing everyone in this room"

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**Sirius-Loey:** Hey, I love Sirius too. He is such a darling. ;)

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

See ya.


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